Every now and then my mind wanders back to my childhood and I reminisce about my years as a student. Things were significantly different back then than they are today. While many things have changed, some things have remained constant. Many of my childhood experiences were night and day when compared with those of my children and students; however, we share similar social-emotional needs. In our culture, the physical needs were prioritized and parents made sacrifices to provide for their children. Unfortunately, the emotional needs were sometimes neglected and we simply found the will to move on because of the strength and resilience that is seemingly embedded in our people. If at no other time in my teaching career, this is the year to heighten my focus on Social Emotional Learning. Join me in exploring that today.
You may have heard the expression, “Maslow before Bloom” if you interact with educators and others in counseling professions. It is a popular saying in education circles. The expression references two 20th century American psychologists - Abraham Maslow and Benjamin Bloom - whose ideas have impacted pedagogy around the world. Maslow is known for his five-tier framework called “Hierarchy of Needs”. The needs highlighted in his work are Physiological, Safety, Belonging, Esteem, and finally Self-actualization. Bloom is known for his Taxonomy of Educational Objectives which focuses on levels of cognitive skills for learning. The verbs used to organize these levels are knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. In light of the challenges of the current school year, we are once again being encouraged to ensure that the focus is first to be given to meeting students’ basic needs before dedicating time and attention to the levels of learning. If I may have a flashback to last week’s episode and use another Jamaican proverb, “Empty bag caan stan’ up.” Translation: An empty sack cannot stand upright. This expression usually means that a hungry person cannot function properly and may be accompanied by an offer of a meal. I would like to apply this same idea to “emotional hunger”.
Current conditions are rife with opportunities for children to feel that kind of hunger. Many of them have been unable to socialize with friends and extended family members for six months, they are now operating in learning environments that are remarkably different from the norm. Chasing friends around the playground at recess, excited conversations in the cafeteria and hugs and high fives in the classroom are not happening this year. Some parents are juggling work and their children’s schooling within the same space at home. As a result parents are sometimes challenged to give the children the attention that they seek. Pressure is mounting and they witness social and political unrest in their communities resulting in daily trauma. The struggle is real; and that is why I want to offer three simple tips to help us support our children now as we needed back when we were younger.
Recently, I had a meeting with the parents of one of my students. The mother expressed concern about opportunities for students to interact socially within our virtual classroom. She was just curious about if and how that was being done online. I had to admit that such opportunities were limited due to time constraints. It is still a challenge to dedicate enough time to instruction while trying to limit the amount of screen time that the students have each day. I have had to be creative and intentional in order to facilitate this priority of focusing on the social-emotional wellbeing of my students.
1. Create small moments of connection
One of the things that has been built into our daily class routine is a quick check in for students to share how they are feeling. At the beginning of Morning Meeting, I share a slide with various emojis and corresponding words listed from which students can choose to tell how they are feeling. As their responses pop up in the chat box, I take note of those students who may be experiencing some emotions that could potentially disrupt their ability to focus and work effectively. I create small moments of connection by offering to talk privately if they want to and by monitoring their facial expressions (if their cameras are on), their tone and level of participation during live sessions. Sometimes I reach out to their parents after our class period has ended or make a referral to our school counselor if warranted. Sometimes students want to share things totally unrelated to what we are learning and it is already a struggle for second graders to stay on topic. I like to offer to stay on for a few minutes after class to listen to them. I hear about stuffed animals, pets, toys, games they like to play and fun times with their families. The students get the attention and listening ear that they crave and I find ways to make connections with them or allow them to teach me something that I have no experience with. In my morning messages, I try to infuse information about myself and my own experiences and seek to find commonalities with my students. I recognize that grand productions are not necessary for meaningful connections to be made, but the little things mean much.
One of the things that has been built into our daily class routine is a quick check in for students to share how they are feeling. At the beginning of Morning Meeting, I share a slide with various emojis and corresponding words listed from which students can choose to tell how they are feeling. As their responses pop up in the chat box, I take note of those students who may be experiencing some emotions that could potentially disrupt their ability to focus and work effectively. I create small moments of connection by offering to talk privately if they want to and by monitoring their facial expressions (if their cameras are on), their tone and level of participation during live sessions. Sometimes I reach out to their parents after our class period has ended or make a referral to our school counselor if warranted. Sometimes students want to share things totally unrelated to what we are learning and it is already a struggle for second graders to stay on topic. I like to offer to stay on for a few minutes after class to listen to them. I hear about stuffed animals, pets, toys, games they like to play and fun times with their families. The students get the attention and listening ear that they crave and I find ways to make connections with them or allow them to teach me something that I have no experience with. In my morning messages, I try to infuse information about myself and my own experiences and seek to find commonalities with my students. I recognize that grand productions are not necessary for meaningful connections to be made, but the little things mean much.
2. Listen
I remember being told that “mi yeye dry” many times during my childhood. I also remember asking questions and engaging adults in conversations that would have been seen as unacceptable to their parents. While the things I spoke about were not rude or disrespectful, the adults of my childhood were to “be seen and not heard”. Even as a child, that statement was totally unacceptable to me, hence the implication that I was daring. In hindsight, I’m glad that I was bold enough to do so. I hold fond memories of sitting on my Grandpa’s lap and asking him about experiences from his youth. I asked him about my grandmother, his role in the inner-city community where he was a shopkeeper, and his dreams for us - his grandchildren.
I also remember the times I spent with my maternal grandmother and great grandmother during my formative years. My grandmother would have turned 100 years old on August 20, 2020. She was my closest companion back then and the one who listened to all my childhood stories. She was my sounding board, my guide, my soft place to land, my confidante and protector. She listened. Back then, there were fewer distractions and the home that I shared with those two special old ladies didn’t have a television. The only device we had was a radio and I think there were only two stations at that time.
Back then, time seemed to move more slowly and there was time to listen. Now, we must MAKE the time to listen. While I still need to teach the standards and cover the curriculum materials, I must listen to my students. I have learned the importance of listening to their childhood stories that they are excited to share. I must also listen to what they do not say. I must listen to the child who does not speak unless I call his/her name to respond. I must listen to the child who prefers to keep the camera off but will infrequently type something in the chat box. Although the message pops up on the screen for brief seconds, I have to hear it long after it is visible and remember to follow up. I heard someone talking about the importance of touch in a child’s life and she said that we should touch our children at least 50 times per day. There is research to support its importance especially in newborns.
“Particularly in the newborn period, it helps calm babies: they cry less and it helps them sleep better. There are some studies that show their brain development is facilitated—probably because they are calmer and sleep better.” https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
As I mentioned in a previous episode, my lingering memory from Friday March 13, 2020 is when I said goodbye to my students with the choice of a high 5, handshake or hug. That was the last day of our face-to-face interaction for last school year. Last year this time we could do that. We took it for granted then. Now, I can only hug my students with my prayers, words and through air hugs via a computer screen.
Back then, I had the privilege of listening to stories during recess on the playground or when we had lunch bunches in the classroom. I listened on bus rides during field trip days. Now, I must make time to listen. In the Spring, I hosted a virtual lunch bunch and I plan to do more this year. When I had parent conferences in the building, I would ask parents to take their children with them and I do the same now online. I want my students to know that their voices are important too. Unlike my parents, they are to be seen and heard. What are some of the things you do, to make time to listen to your children? Leave a comment below and maybe someone else will share something that you can use.
When my boys were younger, bath time was one of the times when I would get an earful about the events from their day. I would also capitalize upon car rides, even if they were just for a few minutes from home to school. Now that our oldest son is in college, I cherish the memory of his senior year in high school when I drove him to school almost every morning. I would welcome red lights just so we could have a few more minutes together. We live walking distance from the school, so it was a short trip. Mealtimes also provide opportunities for conversation, so let us just be open to listen, whether we are parents, caregivers or teachers.
I remember being told that “mi yeye dry” many times during my childhood. I also remember asking questions and engaging adults in conversations that would have been seen as unacceptable to their parents. While the things I spoke about were not rude or disrespectful, the adults of my childhood were to “be seen and not heard”. Even as a child, that statement was totally unacceptable to me, hence the implication that I was daring. In hindsight, I’m glad that I was bold enough to do so. I hold fond memories of sitting on my Grandpa’s lap and asking him about experiences from his youth. I asked him about my grandmother, his role in the inner-city community where he was a shopkeeper, and his dreams for us - his grandchildren.
I also remember the times I spent with my maternal grandmother and great grandmother during my formative years. My grandmother would have turned 100 years old on August 20, 2020. She was my closest companion back then and the one who listened to all my childhood stories. She was my sounding board, my guide, my soft place to land, my confidante and protector. She listened. Back then, there were fewer distractions and the home that I shared with those two special old ladies didn’t have a television. The only device we had was a radio and I think there were only two stations at that time.
Back then, time seemed to move more slowly and there was time to listen. Now, we must MAKE the time to listen. While I still need to teach the standards and cover the curriculum materials, I must listen to my students. I have learned the importance of listening to their childhood stories that they are excited to share. I must also listen to what they do not say. I must listen to the child who does not speak unless I call his/her name to respond. I must listen to the child who prefers to keep the camera off but will infrequently type something in the chat box. Although the message pops up on the screen for brief seconds, I have to hear it long after it is visible and remember to follow up. I heard someone talking about the importance of touch in a child’s life and she said that we should touch our children at least 50 times per day. There is research to support its importance especially in newborns.
“Particularly in the newborn period, it helps calm babies: they cry less and it helps them sleep better. There are some studies that show their brain development is facilitated—probably because they are calmer and sleep better.” https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
As I mentioned in a previous episode, my lingering memory from Friday March 13, 2020 is when I said goodbye to my students with the choice of a high 5, handshake or hug. That was the last day of our face-to-face interaction for last school year. Last year this time we could do that. We took it for granted then. Now, I can only hug my students with my prayers, words and through air hugs via a computer screen.
Back then, I had the privilege of listening to stories during recess on the playground or when we had lunch bunches in the classroom. I listened on bus rides during field trip days. Now, I must make time to listen. In the Spring, I hosted a virtual lunch bunch and I plan to do more this year. When I had parent conferences in the building, I would ask parents to take their children with them and I do the same now online. I want my students to know that their voices are important too. Unlike my parents, they are to be seen and heard. What are some of the things you do, to make time to listen to your children? Leave a comment below and maybe someone else will share something that you can use.
When my boys were younger, bath time was one of the times when I would get an earful about the events from their day. I would also capitalize upon car rides, even if they were just for a few minutes from home to school. Now that our oldest son is in college, I cherish the memory of his senior year in high school when I drove him to school almost every morning. I would welcome red lights just so we could have a few more minutes together. We live walking distance from the school, so it was a short trip. Mealtimes also provide opportunities for conversation, so let us just be open to listen, whether we are parents, caregivers or teachers.
3. Be aware
Many of the hurts and scars that people carry are not visible and with all that is happening in the world now, we have so much more to contend with. Although I have had challenging years throughout my teaching career, this one is challenging on a different level. It seems almost unfair to compare it with any other because we’ve never experienced one like it. Another constant in my role as teacher is to focus on my students’ wellbeing. My third tip is a call to awareness. Earlier, I asked you to listen; but let’s extend that so that we can be aware of the messages that are not sent verbally. A teacher friend shared with me recently that she has a student who wants to stay online even during times when she is not teaching live. He sometimes asks if he can stay in the virtual classroom when she dismisses the class to work on independent activities or even during their lunch break. I think of my students who type words in the chat box and the words they repeatedly choose to express their feelings are sad, upset, annoyed, mad or lonely. I must be aware of the child that is consistently not completing assignments, the one who always signs in late or is absent one day every week. I must monitor changes in behavior when I learn that a family member is sick or has died. I must tune into reactions when there is an addition to the family or they have to move to a new place. During the short periods of time that many of us interact with our students online, a lot is transmitted. It is not easy to focus on the million things floating around our minds (technology, who is engaged, the lesson, the words we choose to speak… and the list goes on). We can’t contest the fact that their social-emotional side is equally important. We must focus on that too. One day this week I wore a headband so my hairstyle looked just a little different and as soon as they logged in, one of my students commented about it and offered a compliment. They are aware. They notice things; and we must do the same.
Many of the hurts and scars that people carry are not visible and with all that is happening in the world now, we have so much more to contend with. Although I have had challenging years throughout my teaching career, this one is challenging on a different level. It seems almost unfair to compare it with any other because we’ve never experienced one like it. Another constant in my role as teacher is to focus on my students’ wellbeing. My third tip is a call to awareness. Earlier, I asked you to listen; but let’s extend that so that we can be aware of the messages that are not sent verbally. A teacher friend shared with me recently that she has a student who wants to stay online even during times when she is not teaching live. He sometimes asks if he can stay in the virtual classroom when she dismisses the class to work on independent activities or even during their lunch break. I think of my students who type words in the chat box and the words they repeatedly choose to express their feelings are sad, upset, annoyed, mad or lonely. I must be aware of the child that is consistently not completing assignments, the one who always signs in late or is absent one day every week. I must monitor changes in behavior when I learn that a family member is sick or has died. I must tune into reactions when there is an addition to the family or they have to move to a new place. During the short periods of time that many of us interact with our students online, a lot is transmitted. It is not easy to focus on the million things floating around our minds (technology, who is engaged, the lesson, the words we choose to speak… and the list goes on). We can’t contest the fact that their social-emotional side is equally important. We must focus on that too. One day this week I wore a headband so my hairstyle looked just a little different and as soon as they logged in, one of my students commented about it and offered a compliment. They are aware. They notice things; and we must do the same.
Things and times have certainly changed. Many things are out of our control, but we must continue to focus on the positive difference that we can make on the children in our care. As Jimmy Dean said,
"I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
I implore all teachers and parents to advocate for focus to be placed on social-emotional learning and encourage us to make it a priority. We can all begin today through simple acts like just taking time to listen. Catherine M. Wallace’s quote captures my message today. She said:
”Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”
I would also add that we should listen because that is an important part of building meaningful relationships.
Until the next post, walk good and one love. 🖤💚💛
Until the next post, walk good and one love. 🖤💚💛